“The Two Years of Paula”

It seems that I’ve been oblivious to something happening behind the scenes.

I’ve gotten old.

In fact, later this year I will hit a milestone that shocks my senses.

So I’ve decided to shake things up a bit. I want to celebrate by simply flitting around – making 2025 into my own personal party and gallivanting around the country on an untold number of trips before “old” becomes “ancient” and my flitting days are over.

Maybe it’s not really “celebrating.” In all honesty it’s more like “grudgingly acknowledging.”

When I mentioned the plan to Julie, she was on board. “The Year of Paula,” she deemed it. But it occurred to me not long afterwards that because I had more goals than I could manage in 12 months, I needed even more time.

Julie didn’t flinch. “Well,” she sighed, “I guess it’s going to be ‘The Two Years of Paula.’ ”

***

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve both retracted and expanded.

I’ve had to jettison a number of things that used to make me happy. I can’t drink as much as I used to, can’t heft my heavy drumset around, can’t zip all over the city on a scooter and risk falling and breaking my slightly osteoporotic bones.

On the other hand, my heart has expanded in many ways. I think I’m less stubborn and less judgmental now, for example. My days are more peaceful that way, and richer.

My circle of friends has contracted a bit, too. But I’ve kept the good ones. And during my two-year tour, I want to see as many of them as possible.

Really, it’s all just about health and love at this point. 

(And music, sports, and trains.)

***

My goals aren’t astronomical. I’m not going to climb any mountain or ford any stream. I just want to

1. visit the handful of states I haven’t yet seen,
2. spend time with the beloved people in my life, and
3. get back on a train.

I’ve already started planning one trip that will help knock off all three goals. Later this year I’ll be hopping on Amtrak’s Empire Builder, which runs from Seattle to Chicago. I’ll be seeing Montana and North Dakota for the first time, and at the end of the line I’ll be meeting up with friends and visiting Motown. I haven’t been to Michigan, and Hitsville US.A. is calling my name. Can’t forget the Motor City.

***

My final two states to cross off the list will be Florida and Alaska. I’ll need to do some major research before hitting those two. Suggestions welcome!

But keep this in mind: My travel goals may be different from yours. What I love to do is

1. meet and mingle with the people of a particular place,
2. absorb the regional culture, and
3. eat (large portions of) the local foods.

I definitely do not want to hike. I just don’t. I have friends who’ve done treks on Mount Everest and Machu Picchu and I can’t tell you how much I admire them for that. They’re rugged and adventurous and self-reliant. But that’s not me. People keep suggesting that I spend all my time in Alaska, for example, visiting Denali National Park. But that’s not how I roll. I want to visit the small towns and meet the Alaskan people and eat yak.

***

I’m not limiting my destinations to the few states I haven’t yet visited. My first major trip, in fact, will be to New York. I also wouldn’t mind seeing Memphis (Sun Studios! The Stax Museum of American Soul Music!) and Kansas City (Negro Leagues Museum!). Although she won’t be along on every trip, Julie has never seen Mount Rushmore or the incomparable city of New Orleans, and those might have to be on the agenda. Plus – I don’t know – should I go to Disneyland again?

Of course, circumstances could easily change – mine, and those of the friends with whom I’m sharing some of these alleged travels. I could contract another case of vertigo, pull yet another muscle, need surgery for God knows what. My dog Buster Posey is getting older. Curveballs will undoubtedly come my way. So my hopes are high, my expectations quite low.

But five years from now – if I live that long – I might not be able to board trains anymore or eat rich food or do the kind of walking I do now. That’s why I want to get this thing going as soon as possible.

I won’t necessarily be blogging about each of my forays – I mean, let’s face it, no one cares – but I’m hoping that at least a few nifty stories might arise.

And really, most of the time I’ll still be plopped on the couch at home, eating shrimp dip after a day of my usual high anxieties and mortifying embarrassments.

For the next couple of years, though, I hope to slightly tweak the schedule. I just want to add some pepper to my pablum.

***

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***

Due to popular demand, I am including, at the end of each blog post, the latest random diary entries that I’ve been posting on Facebook for “Throwback Thursday.” These are all taken absolutely verbatim from the lengthy diaries I kept between 1970 and 1987.

December 29, 1975 [age 20]:

“I’ve spent the last two days in L.A. compiling all my bits of writing scraps into a connected notebook. Every person who has seen me doing this has asked if it’s homework. Darn, most people just don’t understand me. I know I’d be happier at a different college like Berkeley. And [my cousin] Kathie, with all of her riches, goes to a school [USC] that costs $400 a class! WHERE IS JUSTICE?”

December 30, 1975 [age 20]: [Ed.’s note: still one of my top 10 favorite films of all time]

“Today Dad and I went to a matinee in Glendale to see ‘Three Days of the Condor’ with Robert Redford and it was EXCELLENT. The day was really fun. We’d originally planned to see a comedy but when we drove to the supposed address we discovered we were in the wrong CITY. Dad drove over a curb and hit his sideview mirror on the ticket machine in the parking lot and we went out to lunch at Bob’s Big Boy. Downtown was great and we walked along with Dad pointing out the hotel he stayed at 23 years ago while visiting Mom and it was brisk outside and I felt really good.”

January 7, 1976 [age 20]:

“Today I plucked my eyebrows and washed my car. The car-washing didn’t go very well because at one point the hose attacked me and water went EVERYWHERE and then I realized that my car window had been open and there was water everywhere inside and for some reason the car was dirtier than ever!”

January 10, 1976 [age 20]:

“I won two games of Clue with [my brother] Marc and [our friend] Morris and we all watched a bunch of comedies that were on TV tonight – Mary Tyler Moore and Bob Newhart and Carol Burnett and then ‘Soundstage’ with John Sebastian and ‘Saturday Night [Live]’. I write all this because it’s life here in 1976 and I just don’t have enough thoughts to be a philosopher every night.”

January 13, 1976 [age 20]:

“I blew two New Year’s resolutions tonight. About 12 of us had [an after-work party] for Roma Ramy, a team-teaching secretary who is leaving. First, I couldn’t resist the delicious margaritas. Then I realized how hungry I was, and I couldn’t resist the food. So I had a few appetizers, but they didn’t amount to much, so I then had half an entire homemade pie.”

January 14, 1976 [age 20]:

“I tore up that stupid Women’s Day [magazine] essay this afternoon. I came home from my crown appointment all sleepy and I didn’t feel like writing B.S. about ‘women today and tomorrow.’ For a while I had myself believing that I really was going to win the $1,000. But I’m too much of an emotional, melodramatic writer for an expository essay. Ah, well. Goodbye, $1,000!”

January 15, 1976 [age 20]:

“Got my grades today: four Bs and one A. I’m thankful that the A was in English, but otherwise I guess I was a bit disappointed. I worked so hard on my Film final and only got a B+. What good is a ‘PLUS’?? And I had a very solid A going into my Crime Prevention final – I must have really blown that one. I still remember sitting for two hours in English listening to a ‘Fear of Flying’ discussion and sweating over the fact that I wasn’t studying for the Crime final. Maybe it isn’t meant to be, though. This afternoon I almost hit a policeman when I pulled away from the curb!”